When most people think about domestic violence, they often imagine physical harm. This is what is most often portrayed in mainstream media, however, this narrow focus overlooks the devastating reality that domestic violence doesn’t always leave visible marks. For millions of people, abuse is invisible and getting help can feel even harder. 

At the Higher Hope Foundation, we believe that true awareness requires understanding the full spectrum of abuse. By shedding light on the non-physical tactics perpetrators use, we can help survivors recognize what they are experiencing, validate their pain, and empower them to seek safety and support. 

The Dynamics of Non-Physical Abuse: 

Non-physical domestic abuse revolves around power and control. The partner perpetrating the abuse will continuously disrupt the survivor’s self-esteem, sense of reality, and independence. In doing so they make the survivor question if what they are experiencing is real or if it even counts as abuse. And yes, it is abuse. Non-physical abuse has lifelong implications, often leading to anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other psychological trauma. 

Identifying the Tactics:

There are many forms of non-physical abuse, many of which perpetrators will overlap. These can include: 

• Emotional and psychological manipulation
• Isolation
• Financial abuse
• Digital and technological control
• Coercive control 

Emotional and Psychological Manipulation → This can include insults, public humiliation, threats (against the survivor, their children, other family members, pets, or even self-harm by the perpetrator), belittling, and gaslighting. 

Isolation → Isolation is a common tactic used by abusers, who want to limit the social interactions of the survivor. They will keep them from friends, family, work, and they may even create a conflict to ensure that the survivor stays away from those who could possibly help them. Over time, the survivors end up relying on their abuser, and the cycle only gets worse. 

Financial Abuse → Controlling someone’s finances is another highly effective way that an abuser can keep the survivor from leaving. Controlling their ability to work, restricting their budget, taking out debt in the survivor’s name, and withholding basic needs are all examples of this. 

Digital And Technological Control → Now a more modern form of non-physical abuse, digital and technological control can look like an abuser demanding passwords, tracking one’s location, installing spyware and repeatedly monitoring their social media activity. 

Coercive Control → Coercive control is an ongoing, repeated pattern of behavior used by one person to dominate, intimidate, or strip the freedom, autonomy and independence away from another. It describes a pattern of intimidation, surveillance and micro-regulation of everyday life. The abuser will dictate aspects of the survivor’s life such as what they wear, eat, sleep or even how they perform certain tasks. 

A Reminder

Non-physical abuse often leads survivors to feel isolated, ashamed or uncertain if their situation warrants help. Please remember that abuse is never the survivor’s fault and being physically attacked is not a requirement for an environment to be deemed unsafe. If any of the above applies to you, please know that you are not alone. 

Resources for Support:

If you or anybody you know is experiencing domestic violence, whether physical or non-physical, help is available. 

• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  • Phone: Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224
  • Text: Text “START” to 88788
  • Online Chat: thehotline.org (confidential support, safety planning and local resource referrals). 
• Love Is Respect (Youth & Young Adult Support)
  • Phone: 1-866-331-9474
  • Text: Text LOVEIS to 22522
  • Online: loveisrespect.org
• WomensLaw.org 
  • Website: womenslaw.org
  • Provides state-specific legal information and resources for survivors of abuse.